


Behind a Mask

by Banapples2018



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Angst, M/M, Rape, Self-Harm, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-03-24 18:48:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3780469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Banapples2018/pseuds/Banapples2018
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soul is depressed and tired of life. What will his friends do if they find out about their friend's self-harming tendencies? Will they even find out? Soul hopes not. Let's see how long it takes, if ever, for the gang to figure Soul's biggest secret yet (and no, it isn't just the cutting)...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I plan on making this fan fiction long, just so you know! I hope you enjoy the first chapter! Thanks for reading!!! :}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Soul Eater characters and never will. ^^  
> Warning: This chapter contains self-harm so be prepared!  
> Thanks for reading~ ^^

The room was dark, no light making its way through the thick navy blue curtains. The house was quiet, no sound to be heard but soft sniffling. ‘ _You’re worthless. No one wants you. Why won’t you just die already? Or better yet, give your body to me. I will make your pain stop, I will give you freedom from your agony_.’

“Stop…” Was all Soul could manage through his sniffles and hiccups, “Just leave me alone… Please.” He was laying on his stomach in bed with his head in his pillow, crying his eyes out for umpteenth time. Death, did he want the pain to stop; for his torture to just end. Maybe the demon was right, maybe he should die. It’s not like anyone wants him. He’s completely worthless; someone who is only rotting away in the background. Someone with scars everywhere from all the self-hate he felt. _Pain_. That’s all he felt nowadays… Pain and nothingness. He felt numb, tired, and alone in the world with nothing to cling to. He's tired of emotions, tired of people, and tired of life in general.

Everything was beginning to blur away; pain and numbness taking over. Soul starting scratching at his arms. The want, no the **NEED** , to hurt himself was making itself known. Always lurking in the back ground, waiting to pounce on its prey. Everything—everyone—was fading, leaving Soul stuck in his mind. Sometimes he wondered if it was all worth it; if living was actually necessary. All of these thoughts began when he was a small child, all those memories of his past, of all his secrets. Looking back on them now, Soul's surprised he even lived through all the torture they put him through; the pain and agony...

_'You're sickening to look at.'_

_'I wish I had aborted you, but sadly I didn't know that you’d turn out so messed up.'_

_'You are no son of mine... You devil spawn!'_

More tears fell from Soul's eyes. It’s not like they were wrong. It's not like he didn't know he's a monster; something sickening to look at. It’s not like the wish of being aborted never crossed his mind. He **was** a demon; a worthless monster that should have died at birth. 'You still have friends that care about you!’ Soul would tell himself, if only to dispel all the hate and pain for some time, but those thoughts were always sort lived. If Soul’s friends found out about his habits, about his past, Soul bet that they’d treat him like _'they'_ did. It was sad honestly… He couldn’t even trust his own friends—people who he has fought beside defeating the Kishin. That only made Soul feel worse… Friends were supposed to tell each other everything, ask each other for help when needed. But no, Soul couldn’t rely on anyone. Death how he just wanted to hide; be near no one, talk to no one, touch no one… Then again, what will that solve? It’s not like hiding will actually help. Besides, doing that won’t be easy. Soul had the suspicion, if he began to act like that, his friends would ask questions. How can he possibly feel this way about himself? How could he submit to such violent self-hate? ‘Then they’ll look at me with disgust and—’ Soul couldn’t finish the thought.

Soul sighed, sitting up and swaying slightly as he moved off the bed. He opened his bedroom door slightly, making sure Maka wasn't home before making his way down the hallway to the bathroom. Soul opened the bathroom door, thoughts of self-hate and pain spinning in his mind, making him think about things he shouldn’t. He sat on the toilet and let his hand roam behind it until he found what he was looking for.

His razor. (1)

After finding it, he placed it towards the top part of his arm, somewhere that no one would see unless he was shirtless. 'Like that was ever gonna happen.' He lowered it closer to his arm, slowly, doubt beginning to fill him. 'Maybe I shouldn't do this... Maybe I should get help—to find a better way to deal with what I'm feeling...'

 _'And what? Have people look at you differently? You do know that the ones you've been calling friends will only turn away from you, right? I bet that they'll think the same as your family; you're completely worthless. Besides, why would they even want to help you_?'

And like that, thoughts of getting help left Soul's disturbed mind. He gripped the blade tighter in his hand and began his job of riding the feelings he felt.

_Drip_

_Drip_

_Drip_

The slow trail of blood running down his arm gave Soul the feeling of warmth, of freedom, but also the gut-wrenching feeling of shame. **_Tsk_** _._ ' _They_ ' were right all along; he is a disgusting beast. But what did he care? Soul’s head rolled to the side. He felt so out of it, so tired. Would it be okay if he took a quick nap? To let himself wander off into darkness, into nothingness. He felt numb, his right arm, the one that he had cut at the shoulder, lost all feeling along with his mind. As his head continued to sway, Soul caught glimpses of his body. All he could see were scars— cuts. There wasn’t any on his wrist like most would suspect of someone who cut, but on his shoulders and chest. To avoid being caught at yearly examinations, he would make the cuts seem like they came from missions or, for this particular year, from his 8 month Death Scythe training session that he took last year right after he became Kidd’s death scythe. The cuts themselves were jagged, so it would be believable that they were made on missions. But that didn’t matter. The size, the shape, the need, all that didn’t matter. What mattered were the memories. The ones that caused him to become so…

Soul’s mind drifted farther into numbness, as if nothing really mattered. His friends, ' _them_ '... Life. All of those things were beginning to slip from Soul's mind. He felt... Calm.

Soul laughed as he felt tears falling from his dull orbs. “Who am I kidding? I’m not calm. I’m falling apart…” Soul’s voice cracked and his laughter subsided to silent tears.

‘I’m disgusting. Worthless. An empty box.’

He cried for what felt like hours, just sitting on the toilet, letting his emotions out. But soon enough, Soul decided to take a deep breath, trying to regain control of himself. 'Okay...' He rose from the toilet seat and started to clean up the blood that dripped on the floor and looking for the first aid kit Maka put somewhere. Soul gathered the materials he needed and began the normal routine of cleaning everything up. First, he cleaned the blood spot on the floor. After he did that, he took care of his new cuts. He did his best to ignore them, but it was like he was compelled to look at them. The way they looked; diagonal, horizontal, straight, zig-zag, it was like art. Twisted art, yes, but beautiful none the less or at least to Soul they were beautiful. He may be disgusted by them but he couldn’t deny that they were beautiful. Or maybe it was because it’s one of the only things he feels he’s actually telling the truth doing… As he was finishing up, Soul decided to look back at the bathroom to make sure everything was in order. He nodded his head in approval. Everything was clean; no evidence was left behind.

“Soul! I’m home! Are you in the bathroom? Hurry up! Remember, it’s your turn to cook tonight!” Maka yelled from the front door of their newly bought house. It definitely wasn’t as big as Kidd’s house, but it was still quite spacious. There was enough room to do anything; even hide secrets, dark, dark secrets.

As Soul left the bathroom completely, he shouted, “Yeah, I’m in the bathroom! Be down in a sec!” As Soul began to walk down the rest of the hallway to the stairs, he hid the razor he had in his hands in his pockets. As Soul walked into the living room, he saw Maka in the closet putting away something. Shrugging, he walked to the kitchen since Maka was probably hungry after being out for so long. Knowing her, she probably didn’t even eat lunch. ‘You’re such a hypocrite…’ Yeah, that may be true but that didn’t mean that he was wrong. “Maka?” Soul called out from the kitchen as he was trying to figure out what to make for dinner. He grabbed the blue apron that was bought for him and tied it around his waist like he normally does.

“What?” Maka answered back as she made her way from the living room to the door of the kitchen. She walked over to the island in the middle of the room and sat on one of the seats, looking at Soul’s back expectantly. At the sound of Maka taking a seat behind him, he began to talk once more.

“What would you like for dinner?” Soul asked. It’s not like he was actually going to eat any of it anyway… Soul waited for an answer and upon not receiving one, he turned around and leaned against the counter behind him. “What’s taking you so lo-? Where did you go?!”

“Out here!” Maka shouted from the living room. She came running into the kitchen, receiving a sweat drop from Soul. “What?”

Maka sighed, “Never mind… So what do you want for dinner?” Soul asked once again. By now he was facing the cabinets, getting ready to grab the ingredients for what Maka wanted to eat. Maka gave him a confused look before a look of realization made its way across her face. Soul turned back around to observe Maka with a perplexed look. “You gonna answer?”

“Oh! About that… Ummm, see…” She gave him a nervous glance, for what, Soul hadn’t a clue. “I have a date tonight with this really sweet guy,” Maka walked around the island over to Soul, “so you’re going to have to cook dinner for yourself. I’m **SOOO** sorry! I should have said something earlier, but it kind of slipped my mind, you know?” Maka scratched the back of her neck, giving Soul an awkward smile. ‘Oh, well that makes sense…’

“Don’t worry about it!” Soul made a swishing gesture with his hands, letting Maka know that it was truly fine. Although it did hurt him that she hadn’t bothered to tell him that she was dating men now. He stood up straight and walked over to the fridge to ‘look’ for food. Maka, noticing the time, gasped.

“He’ll be here any minute! I need to hurry and get ready!” Maka exclaimed as she literally ran out of the kitchen, up the stairs and into her room, which she slammed shut in her haste. Soul rolled his eyes, ‘when will she ever learn?’ He smiled to himself, ‘never, of course.’ Shaking his head with a smile, Soul closed the fridge door and walked out to the living room to watch some T.V.

**_***_ **

It took only ten minutes to get ready, which was quite the shock since she thought it would take longer. “Hey, Soul?” Maka called while walking down the stairs that lead to the front door and the beginning of the living room. She stumbled over to him, ‘damn these heels!’ Maka thought with distaste. “Hey, Soul? You awake?” As she made her way closer to him, slowly at that, she noticed that he was, in fact, asleep. She sighed, hat was she going to do with him? “Hey, Soul? Have you eaten yet? If not, you need to before you go to sleep.” When she didn’t receive a response, she decided to shake him awake. After a couple of hard, yet somewhat gentle, shoves, Soul finally woke up.

“Wha-?” Soul blinked up at her like an owl. He began rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and groaned. “Shouldn’t you be on your date by now?” Soul shifted from his position on the couch to sit up. Once he was sitting, he stretched at far as his body would let him. When a loud pop was heard, which Maka grimaced at, Soul sighed, satisfied with the relief of tension in his shoulder.

“No, he said that he’ll be here a little late.” Maka looked a little irritated, “lots of traffic I guess… But enough of that. You still haven’t eaten yet, now have you?” Maka’s right foot started to tap the floor lightly, showing how aggravated she was. She was beginning to wonder if Soul ever ate because it certainly didn’t seem like it. Soul just looked at her blankly.

“Okay?”

“Uhhh… Just eat something before I leave please. You’re getting way too skinny.” Maka took ahold of one of Soul’s hands and commenced with dragging him to the kitchen for a meal. She shoved him into one of the island seats and set off cooking some soup. “I hope you like chicken noodle soup Soul!” Maka chirped in delight.

‘Please stop, you’re way too happy.’

“Just a little longer and it’ll be done!” Maka swayed as she cooked the meal for her partner.

‘I don’t deserve to eat the food you make…’

Steam arose from the pot holding the now hot soup. Maka smelled the soup and exclaimed loudly how Soul would enjoy it; it was, after all, the soup that Soul enjoyed the most. Well, that’s what she thought at least.

“Yay!” Soul exclaimed weakly, looking paler than usual. ‘This isn’t gonna go well…’ Maka placed a bowl of the soup in front of Soul’s nose, hoping to entice him to eat. As she sat it down, the bell rang.

“I think that’s him!” Maka said, then shouting out, “Be there in a second!” She turned back to Soul. “So, how do I look?” Soul examined her. She was wearing a light green dress with white frills around the edges, a dress that Liz and Tsubaki bought for her about a week ago. The color itself made Maka’s eyes pop, especially with the light amount of make-up she was wearing. Her hair, no longer in its usual pigtails, was cured at the ends and wavy near her roots. Over all, she looked utterly beautiful.

“Gorgeous, now don’t keep the lucky man waiting!” Soul jumped out of his seat and drove Maka through the kitchen, through the dining room and living room, to the front door.

“Calm down, would you?! Death, you’re way too excited for me to leave than I thought you would be…” Maka nonetheless smiled at her weapon. _Sigh_. “Fine, fine,” Maka raised her hands in defeat, “you’re getting your way! I’ll get out of your hair!” Maka turned around once her hand was on the doorknob, “Remember to eat, okay? It’s not heal-”

“Yeah, yeah... I know, not healthy.” Soul said with a roll of his eyes. “Now leave before the guy leaves ya for dirt!” Maka huffed at that, but didn’t comment.

“Bye!”

“Bye.” Soul waved as she walked out the door into the capable hands of the man in front of him. “You better be good to her!” Soul yelled at the two as they reached the guy’s car. Maka waved for the last time before the two sped off to their date. Soul took a deep breath as he closed the door, ‘death was she growing up quick. To think she was once Miss. Little Tiny Tits!’ Soul smiled to himself at the memory of her getting pissed off whenever he would call her that hated nickname. Soul sighed, it may sound cliché, but he missed the old days…

Soul walked to the kitchen, taking in the fact that he probably wasn’t going to eat the soup Maka made for him. How could he? There are plenty of other people who needed food more than a worthless being like him. ‘Worthless…’ Soul shook the thought out of his head, deciding to clean out the bowl, wash it and then put away the rest of the soup that was made. As he finished washing the dish and putting away his ‘meal,’ Soul felt exhausted. ‘Must have been from earlier…’ He walked out of the kitchen, through the dining room and living room, and hiked up the stairs to where his room was. He strode down the hallway and turned right, opening his door. He stumbled over to his bed, too tired and lazy to walk properly. Once he was in bed, he pulled the covers up to his chin and drifted off into the deep, dark abyss that was his mind.

_‘P-Please stop!’ **SLAM!**_

_‘Now why would I do that?’ The man laughed._

_‘Please s-stop! P-Please!’ The boy began to cry and whimper, ‘p-please! I-I hurts!’_

_More laughter was heard. ‘Like I would care. ‘s not like you’ll be able to stop me anyway…’ The man thrusted forward._

**_‘P-Please!’_ **

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) It may not make sense to use a razor to cut himself since he could use his weapon form to do it, but I feel like all the intense emotions Soul is feeling would cause him to no longer be able to transform into his weapon form when he wants to hurt himself. This will be explained by later in the story.
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hoped you enjoyed the first chapter! To let everyone know, I took inspiration from the story Sharp Secrets, so my story so far may be similar. But don’t worry, I’m not copying that wonderful fan fiction and calling it my own. My plot is quite different from the fan fiction and I’m going to keep it that way. ^^


	2. A Sleepless Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing, especially all the wonderful Soul Eater characters.  
> Warning: There is some language and a slight rape scene (it isn’t too descriptive, but if you feel uncomfortable reading it, you can skip it if ya want)  
> Enjoy~ ^^

**_‘Hahahaha!’_ **

Soul woke up with heart pounding fast and paranoia that something may jump out at him at any moment. He scanned the room, making sure that he was, in fact, alone. Finding that he was, Soul took a deep breath to help calm down. He put his hand over his heart and felt it slow until it was about normal. Still precautious, Soul checked the room once more, just in case he missed something. He noticed that there were many creepy shadows playing out on the wall, but knew that it was his nightmare that made him fear such a thing. ‘A nightmare.’ That’s all Soul has to remember. It was all a dream; a dream that has been ever reoccurring since the age of 6. After a couple more deep breaths, Soul had finally calmed completely down. But that’s when he noticed that there was some sort of liquid on his arms. He looked down, afraid of what he may find. His bandaged arm, or use to be bandaged arm, was covered in newly made scratches that Soul must have made in his sleep. The bandage itself looked to have been torn to pieces; half of it hanging off the bed while the rest seemed to be clinging desperately to the side of his arm. Soul felt around on the nightstand beside him, looking for something to clean up all the blood on his arms. Finding something suitable, which just so happened to be a black t-shirt, Soul wiped away all the blood, turning on the light to get a better look at the condition of his arm.

Soul just stared at his arm after he switched the light on. Blood was everywhere, not just on his arm or clothes like he thought, but all over his bed. Soul felt tears prickle at his eyes. The site of his arm was disgusting. He couldn’t believe that he would not only harm himself while conscious, but while unconscious as well. ‘This is my life now… One of hate and suffering.’ For what felt like hours, which in reality was only seconds, Soul stared at the mess he had created; a mess he may never be able to clean up. Yeah, he can clean up the sheets and comforter, well at least most of the way, but he could never clean up the mess he’s become. Soul sighed, ‘thinking like this wasn’t going to change anything.’ Soul wiped away the tears in his eyes, after all he didn’t want Maka coming in seeing him in this state. Death, not after what happened last time when she saw him ‘cry’. Soul shuddered. Never again…

_“Soul? You home?” Maka called as she walked through the front door and sat the groceries on the floor. “I bought some food for dinner! I hope you like tacos!” Maka looked around for her lazy partner. “Soul? Hello?” She walked over to the kitchen after looking up stairs with no response from her weapon. “Wow… Not in the mood for answering, huh?” Maka muttered to herself._

_She opened the kitchen door to the sight of her partner, what she didn’t expect, however, was the fact that he was crying. “Soul? Oh my death! Are you okay? What happened?” Soul turned around quickly, only to be shook by Maka_ _fiercely, “Tell me now!” Soul just gave her a blank stare._

_“What?” Soul said, confused about what the meister was talking about. Maka sighed, not in the mood for playing. Her partner was always there for her when she was crying, whether it was because of her family or her being moody. Maka wanted to be able to support her friend for once, not the other way around._

_“You. Crying. Why?” Maka questioned, letting her hands slip off Soul’s shoulders as she got over the initial shock of him crying. Soul just gave her another one of his infamous blank stares before realization hit him like a brick. He made an ‘O’ shape with his mouth before he blushed bright red. It wasn’t like it was embarrassing to be caught crying, but the fact that he was, was enough for Soul to become embarrassed._

_“Oh! I-I didn’t realize— Ummm…” Soul scratched the back of his neck and looked away from his partner. His hands fell to his side after a couple seconds, but that didn’t last too long before his fingers started to fiddle with each other. “So… Yeah.”_

_Maka sighed, “You know you could tell me what was making you cry, right?”_

_“Do you really want to know?”_

_“Yes, of course I do!”_

_“Well…”_

_“Go on” Maka urged. She wanted to finally be able to gain access to that brain of Soul’s that she has been oh so denied from. She moved closer to Soul, yearning to hear every little word fall off his lips. She got closer and closer and clos—_

_“Onions.”_

_“Excuse me?” Maka gave Soul a confused, blank look. ‘Well I definitely didn’t expect that answer.’_

_“I was cutting onions.”_

_“Why?”_

_“What? Is there something wrong with eating onions when I feel like it? Death, when did the world turn into such a judgmental place?” Soul turned his head away from his partner. She was just so overwhelming sometimes._

‘She must have felt so stupid…’Soul thought to himself. He pushed the bed covers the he rest of the way off him and scooted himself over to the edge, ripping he rest of the bloody bandage off his arm. He some water on the black shirt from the water bottle on his night stand and wiped the rest of the blood away from his arm. He let his sock-covered feet dangle lazily before placing them softly on the ground, turning around to scoop up the bloody sheets and comforter. Soul pushed himself off the bed and padded over to the door, hands full. He walked down the stairs after walking, well more like waddling, down the hall. After reaching the washing room, Soul shoved everything in his hands in the washer to be cleaned. Sticking extra soap and using Oxy-clean to see if that would cleanse the blood, Soul started the washer and left the room back to his own.

Soul scanned his bed, ‘Well I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep now that all my blankets are in the wash.’

 _‘Like that would honestly stop you from going back to sleep_.’ Soul’s eyes widen. ‘ _You know it’s true._ ’ Soul closed his and opened them again as he walked stiffly over to his bed, biting his lip the whole way. He grabbed the tarnished bandage that was hanging of the edge of his bed and threw it in the waste basket beside his nightstand/desk and turned the light back off. Letting his lip go, Soul walked over to the big windowsill in his room and sat down on the ledge, bringing his knees to his chest. This was the only place he actually felt safe. A place he could go to whenever he felt the need to think or be by himself.

The demon in his head laughed, ‘ _Not when I’m in your head. You can never run from me Soul-kun. Ever._ ’ Said teenager didn’t answer, only ignored the demon and gazed out on Death City. ‘ _Ignoring me. **Tch**. You little brat._ ’

“I’m ignoring no one, only choosing not to listen.” Soul let his eyes wonder the outside world.

The demon laughed like a hyena, ‘ _You never change. Looking out at the world below you while you’re trapped inside._ _I guess the saying is true. Old habits do die hard, now don’t they Soul_?’ And like that, Soul’s mind was shot back to the past. A time and place he never wanted to go back to…

**_************_ **

_He was so young, maybe two or three, when he was told to learn the piano…_

“Soul… Sweetie, maybe playing the violin like your brother isn’t the best idea.” Soul’s mother, Linda Evans, took away the violin from his small, little hands. “I don’t think it’s your instrument.” Soul, being only a child, looked at her in confusion. Why wouldn’t he be able to play the violin? Wasn’t there allowed to be two people who played the violin in their family?

Linda led her son to the opposite section of the music store where all the pianos were. Linda bent down with her hands on her knees so that she was at eye level with her son, “How about you try playing the piano? We’ve never had a piano player in our family.” Soul only nodded, not really understanding what she was saying. After all, he was only 2 and a half.

Linda grabbed her son’s hand and guided him to the big grand piano in the corner. She lifted Sol up and sat him on the piano bench. “Do you like it? How about you try playing a note, hmm?” Soul slightly nodded, turning towards the piano fully. The manager, who was supposed to be keeping an eye on the grand piano, noticed the pair and walked over to them fuming.

“What the hell are you two doing?! Would you ge-” The manger’s words caught in his throat as he recognized them. The man took off his hat and put it to his heart, bowing. “I-I’m sorry Mrs. Evans. I-I hadn’t recognized you and your son.” Linda only shushed him, to which he stood. “H-has he taken any lessons?” Linda shook her head, retuning her full attention to the little boy on the piano bench. She motioned for Soul to continue.

Soul played a note, hoping to please his mother but she only nodded for him to keep going. Soul played another note, right next to the first. Then another and another and another. Soon he played all the notes from what seemed to be the middle of the piano to the highest key, skipping all the black ones. Soul turned his head to his mother, hoping to be finished but she yet again only nodded for him to keep going. Soul sighed, placing his hands to where he first started. He played his first note again and played seven more notes then went back down the scale. Hearing the way the notes seemed to fit together, Soul started on the second note he played. From there he tried the same thing he did before, playing seven notes after it and back. Although this time it didn’t seem to fit. Soul scrunched up his nose, trying to figure out why it didn’t sound as good as the first time he did it. Deciding that he did nothing wrong, Soul began to play the scale again but with a black key this time. He started on the first note of the sequence, played the second and then skipped the white key and played the black one instead. Soul’s eyes widen when he realized that it sounded way better with the black key, so he continued and once he reached another section that didn’t sound right, Soul skipped the white key and played the black one. He didn’t exactly understand why it sounded better with the different colored key, but he did know that it seemed to be what his mother was looking for when she clapped her hands in amazement.

“He’s a prodigy! How amazing! Your father will be so proud!” Linda flipped her long white hair over her shoulders, removing her bangs from her face. She wore a black dress that barely covered her mid-thigh and shiny black heels, so when she bent down to pick up her son, the manager couldn’t help but stare as her breasts and how her dress was pushed up higher on her thighs. Linda stood back up with her son in her arms, “So how much is the grand piano? Price doesn’t matter.”

The manager looked up from her chest to her eyes to answer her. This did not get unnoticed by Soul. “U-umm, I-I’m sorry but it isn’t for sale…” The manager faded and he blushed as Linda bent down to pick up a piece of paper that had fallen to the floor sometime earlier, her breasts on display. The manager’s attention was caught, “B-But I can try pulling a few strings?” Linda stood up, paper forgotten on the floor.

“Great!” She started taking money out of her purse, “how much is it?” She was handing him the money, but he only shied away from it, hands in front of him.

“I-I have to check first. I’m not sure whether my boss will sell it or not.”

Linda hummed to herself, “How about you come to the back with me and we’ll figure out the right price?” The manager looked reluctant, but Linda put down Soul, putting a pacifier in his mouth and dragged the manager to the back room. Soul regarded them for a second before walking back to the grand piano and examining it.

By the end of the day, Soul had gotten a black grand piano and a pat on the head from his father. Little did he know that his life just took a drastic turn for the worst…

When Soul had turned six, his parents started treating him differently. They no longer kissed him goodnight, but only regarded him coldly. They wouldn’t even look him in the face anymore. Being only six, Soul didn’t understand anything. He was confused and lost and only had his big brother to hold his hand, whom he hadn’t seen in at least a month. Mother and father said that they sent him to this camp for musical kids and that he wouldn’t be back for about another month… But something didn’t feel right. Why wasn’t he sent along with his older brother? Wasn’t he musically gifted as well?

The two weeks before Wes was due back, their uncle, Uncle Bobby, decided to stay with the Evans family for a little awhile. Nothing really changed around the house. Well other than the fact that Soul was banished to his room. He wasn’t aloud to eat with everyone else and he certainly wasn’t able to go outside of his room for any reason. Knowing this, Soul’s uncle always found time to join him and play games. Soul, still young, would only be wearing a big white button-up shirt and some kind of undergarment. Uncle Bobby would hug him whenever he came by and visited his room. Soul began to enjoy his company and loathed when Bobby had to leave. But in just one evening, all trust Soul had for the man and for people was shattered.

Sitting on the windowsill in his room, Soul looked out at the world below him; watching kids play and laugh and overall have a good time while he was locked away in his room. Soul’s eyes wandered around seeing white stuff on the ground. Of course he heard about the stuff, but he didn’t know what it was called. ‘Maybe Wes said something about it… What did he call it? Clouds? Frozen rain? Fluff? No… Was it snow? Snow… SNOW! That’s what it’s called! Snow!’ Soul leaned farther into the window, hands pressed against it and eyes glazed over in excitement. ‘Snow is so pretty!’ Just then a kid that lived down the street threw a snowball at Soul’s window and all the children began to laugh when Soul, who was shocked, fell backwards on the floor. Soul jumped up quickly to his feet and ran back over to the window, but only seeing that all the kids had left his line of site.

Soul just sat there, looking out the window and watching snow fall. ‘Maybe Christmas will come early this year? Maybe my parents will love me again on Christmas!’ Soul jumped off the windowsill and ran over to his bed and bent down to crawl under the bed frame. After a couple minutes of searching, Soul came out from under his bed victorious. In his small hands was a packaged present box that was messily wrapped. Soul smiled at the little box, ‘I wonder if they’ll like it…’

 ** _Knock. Knock_**.

Soul shoved the box back underneath his bed and scurried over to the windowsill again. Just as Soul was taking a seat, Uncle Bobby burst through the door. Soul jumped off the windowsill again and greeted him with a hug. Bobby kneeled down so he could hug Soul back properly, placing his chin of the small boy’s head. “Hey, Soul? Would you mind doin’ your uncle a small favor?” Soul noticed that his words were slightly slurred but still nodded his head energetically. His uncle smiled, “Good.” Uncle Bobby stood up and led Soul to the corner next to the window away from prying eyes, pushing Soul down so that he was sitting. “What I’m about to do may hurt a little, but you can’t make any noise okay?” Bobby kneeled down, looking Soul in the eyes and grabbing his shoulders. “If you scream, I don’t think your parents would mind me punishing you for being disobedient.” Soul’s eyes widen, what did his uncle plan on doing to him? Why was it going to hurt? Soul’s eyes began to water as he started to panic. Uncle Bobby shushed him and placed a kiss on his forehead, his eyelid, his cheek, and then softly on his lips. Soul began to whimper, he didn’t understand what was going on. He wanted to push his uncle’s hands away but he wasn’t strong enough.

“P-Please stop…” But Bobby only continued his ministrations, not caring whether Soul was reluctant. His uncle grabbed him forcefully by the chin and yank upwards to meet Bobby’s hungry mouth. “Ahm!”

Bobby pulled back slightly, tracing a finger along Soul’s plump lips after being kissed roughly and wiped away his tears. “I hope you know that I would do _anything_ for you,” Bobby whispered, “but that’s only if you obey me. Do you understand?” Soul nodded his head, his body trembling. Uncle Bobby began to nuzzle Soul’s hair, moving his finger down to Soul’s shoulder.

Soul shuddered, crying even more without making any sound. He didn’t want to be punished.

Uncle Bobby’s thumbs rubbed soothing circles on Soul’s shoulders as he pulled back yet again, looking down at Soul with a possessive and crazy glint in his eyes. “Don’t worry Soul, there’s no need to be afraid— we’re only goin’ to have a little bit of fun.” Bobby leaned in closer, lips barley touching Soul’s. “Just you and me, now doesn’t that sound terrific?” Soul only whimpered and shook his head in response. Bobby glared at him before pulling at his hair, lifting him off the ground until Soul was only able to reach it on his tippy-toes.

“Ahh!” Soul yanked at his uncle’s hands, scratching and digging his nails in his skin. “L-Let go!” Bobby only smirked before flipping Soul around and slamming him face first into the wall.

Bobby laughed, “What did I tell you? Since you’re disobeying me, I guess it means that you want to be punished.” Bobby yanked down Soul’s undergarment and hiking up his white long-sleeve shirt, leaving his butt bare. Bobby grinned like a manic as he unbuckled his pants, yanking them down to his knees since he was still kneeling. He grabbed Soul slim hips with one hand as the other bent Soul down for better access. By now, Soul was crying, nearly screaming out of fear. Bobby moved the hand that was adjusting Soul’s position up to his mouth so no one would hear him. “What did I say?” Bobby tilted Soul’s neck to the side and bit him. Hard. Soul shrieked as pain went up and down his spine. “Remember, I told you to be quiet you filthy little maggot.” Uncle Bobby leaned away, licking the wound on Soul’s neck before pulling away fully. Bobby pressed his chest flush against Soul’s back and without any warning, he thrusted his shaft inside of the boy beneath him. Soul screamed bloody murder, pain tripled every time his uncle would move. He didn’t even stop for Soul to adjust to him.

“Ahh!” Soul screamed at the top of his lungs, however the hand over his mouth prevented it from being too loud. He bawled his eyes out, making little fists with his hands as his uncle had his way with him. “P-Please… S-Stop…” But Bobby didn’t stop, only gaining speed as he felt his climax boiling inside him. “N-No more... Hah.” What the man had done to Soul that night and numerous others ruined all his sense of self-love and feeling, leaving only a barren shell.

_“Please…”_

************

Everything was dark. Not that Soul minded. No more memories, no more pain, no more suffering. He felt so tired… All he wanted to do was sleep. Was that what he’s doing right now? Sleeping? Maybe he won’t wake up… Maybe he’ll stay asleep forever and be blissfully ignorant of the world around him.

_“Soul!”_

Go away. He didn’t want to deal with anything anymore. It’s all become too much—the demon, the nightmares, depression… All of it was just too much for Soul to handle! No more—he wasn’t going to take any more of it. He’s done. He gives up.

_“Soul!”_

Why won’t that voice just go away?! All he wants to do right now is curl up in a ball and cry his eyes out and then hope for someone to put him out of his misery… Oh by death would they be his savior.

“Oi dumbass! Get your ass up!” Soul startled awake, looking around him and taking in his surroundings. Black Star was standing right in front of him, blocking his view of everyone else in their little gang. However, he did see Maka by the door, only in her night gown with her hair in two buns. She had her phone in one hand and she looked like she seen a ghost. ‘Why are they all here?’ Soul rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and looked up at Black Star who was now on his knees looking straight into Soul’s eyes. “Hey, are you okay? You gave everyone a fright when you didn’t wake up.” Black Star jumped back up as he pushed a thumb to his chest. “Well not me of course! I’m a god after all! Hahaha!” Soul only watched as Black Star rambled on about his ‘godliness’ or whatever. Soul felt his eyes get heavier and heavier as seconds passed by. Maka noticed this and walked over to Black Star, putting a hand over his loud mouth. “Hey-Hmm!” Black Star glared at Maka.

Maka rolled her eyes, “Look,” she pointed at Soul, “he’s tired and he’s still on the windowsill. So how about you be useful for once and move him to the bed?” Black glared at her one more time before sighing in defeat, but he **WILL** get revenge for being ordered around! But right now, his best buddy needed him.

Black Star stooped down and lifted Soul up. ‘Has he always been this light?’ Black Star heaved Soul higher and in a more comfortable position in his arms. Soul’s head rolled to the side and rested on Black star’s chest. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully, but Black Star knew otherwise. Soul was squirming in his arms, not a lot, but it was still noticeable. “How about we take him down stairs and place him on the living room couch? I mean, he doesn’t even have any blankets on his bed.”

Kidd, who was standing by the doorway with his two weapons, scanned the bed. “Yeah, laying him down stairs will probably be best. Besides, we can keep a better eye on him downstairs.” He looked over at Maka and she nodded.

“I agree.” Black Star nodded his head slightly before walking past everyone and out the doorway. Once he had left, everyone else followed him down to the living room where he placed Soul’s sleeping form on the couch. Black Star laid him down carefully, trying his best not to wake up Soul. After he laid a blanket on him, Black Star sat on the other end of the couch. When he glanced alongside him to see if Soul was still asleep, said teenager was curled up in a ball with his hands in fists beside his head. Soul’s hair was everywhere, which made it look even fluffier and soft looking and the blanket that Black Star put on him was barely covering his small form.

Maka sat on the couch next to the one where Soul and Black Star were on, watching Soul’s even breaths as he fell into deep sleep. She sighed and turned to everyone, “Thanks for yours guys’ help.” She offered them a smile. “It really means a lot.” The gang each wore an expression of gloom. It’s not that they didn’t appreciate the thank you or didn’t want to help, but the reason for why Maka needed help in the first place put them all in a state of depression. Kidd looked down at his hands, Liz closed her eyes, Tsubaki kept her eyes downcast, Patty wasn’t jumping around, and Black Star just sat there staring off into space, lost in his thoughts. Kidd took a deep breath before raising his head so that he was looking at Maka again.

“Do you perhaps know what happened?” Maka shook her head, appearing to be glum at her lack of knowledge. Kidd sighed, “Okay, since you can’t explain that to us, how about you tell us what happened before we arrived?” Maka took a short breath, before stumbling out her words.

“Well, it was when I had to go down stairs to get a drink of water…” She took another breath to calm herself. “S-see, after drinking my cup of water, I heard the washer. I-I was confused as to why it was on so I walked over to the washing room. I walked over to the washer and opened it to see what was being washed a-and I realized that it was just Soul’s blankets. That didn’t really worry me, I thought that maybe he spilled some soda or juice on them but when I closed the hatch to the washer…” Maka’s eyes started to water. “I realized that there was blood on my hands.” She raised her hands over her eyes, her elbows resting on her knees. “I was so freaked out that I ran upstairs to go check on Soul a-and then I heard screaming and whimpering of pleas of something to stop and to let go a-and—” Maka broke off in a fit of tears.

Tsubaki touched her shoulders as Maka shook from the force of her tears. “I-I didn’t know what to do…” Tsubaki’s eyes also began to water at the site of her friend crying. She hugged Maka, rubbing comforting circles on her back as she forced herself to calm down. Maka needed her and her crying too wasn’t going to solve anything.

“Shhh… It’s okay. We’re here now. Look, Soul’s fine. He’s sleeping; he’s okay.” As Tsubaki comforted Maka, Black Star was still lost in his thoughts. Why did he scream? Why was he sleeping on the windowsill in the first place? It just didn’t make any sense. What would make Soul freak out like that? All these questions swirled around in Black Star’s head. He sighed, glancing over at Soul which turned into him staring at the sleeping form. ‘What am I going to do with you?’ Soul mumbled in his sleep, fisting the blanket in his hands and curling into a ball even more. Black Star smiled, shaking his head. His friend was way too cute for his own good.

Maka stopped crying and was left with hiccups and sniffling. She lifted his hands to her eyes and wiped away the extra tears. She took a deep breath. “O-Okay…” She looked over at Soul and smiled slightly. “A-At least he’s sleeping okay.”

Tsubaki smiled, “Yeah.” She looked over at Liz and Patty, wondering why they were being so quiet, smiling even more when she saw that the younger sibling was sleeping on other’s shoulder.

Liz sighed, “Now we just have to wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for such a big delay! I hope this chapter makes up for it! I hope you enjoyed this long awaited chapter! Oh and I combined the old second chapter with the first one so that the chapter was longer.  
> ~The plot is thickening~ ^^


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